After salvation, there is no other long-term event that will deeply change so many other areas of your life. Here are just some of the ways in which the marriage will impact every aspect of life.
1. It will impact you spiritually. If the boy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no right to unite in the same yoke a soul redeemed with someone not regenerated, even if it seem open to change. Christ paid a high price for you, and is not an option deliver this heart bought by blood to someone who does not know and love your Lord. This will damage your spiritual development, open space for many temptations, stifle a life of prayer, to make regular attendance in the Church becomes difficult, and cause huge family conflicts, if you have children.
If the boy is a believer, is he firm on his beliefs? Will he lead in prayer, reading the Bible, family devotions and public adoration? Or will you live on your own? Will he make the spiritual growth a priority or other things come first? Will he ask you how you how is your soul going so he can help you to grow in holiness and love for Christ, or leave it with your pastor? Will he lead his sons , or you'll have to take charge? In the church, will he help the children to sit properly, pray, find the hymns, or you will be the only one to show what will happen next and help the family to pay attention? Many women married to men immature spiritually, thinking that this would not be a big problem, or that the man would change, they were wrong and carry the scars.
The health of his eternity is at stake. Think carefully.
2. It will impact you emotionally. will the boy in whom you are thinking will encourage you, love you, be gentle, and try to understand you, or he'll want to go out with friends when you're having a difficult night? Will he listen to you when you are struggling with something or will be concerned with the videogame? Will he be upset when you cry or will take tissues to wipe your tears and give you a hug? Will he seek to understand that you are, probably, more sensitive than he is, more sensitive to the problems and reviews, or he will, regularly, keep stepping on your feelings?
1. It will impact you spiritually. If the boy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no right to unite in the same yoke a soul redeemed with someone not regenerated, even if it seem open to change. Christ paid a high price for you, and is not an option deliver this heart bought by blood to someone who does not know and love your Lord. This will damage your spiritual development, open space for many temptations, stifle a life of prayer, to make regular attendance in the Church becomes difficult, and cause huge family conflicts, if you have children.
If the boy is a believer, is he firm on his beliefs? Will he lead in prayer, reading the Bible, family devotions and public adoration? Or will you live on your own? Will he make the spiritual growth a priority or other things come first? Will he ask you how you how is your soul going so he can help you to grow in holiness and love for Christ, or leave it with your pastor? Will he lead his sons , or you'll have to take charge? In the church, will he help the children to sit properly, pray, find the hymns, or you will be the only one to show what will happen next and help the family to pay attention? Many women married to men immature spiritually, thinking that this would not be a big problem, or that the man would change, they were wrong and carry the scars.
The health of his eternity is at stake. Think carefully.
2. It will impact you emotionally. will the boy in whom you are thinking will encourage you, love you, be gentle, and try to understand you, or he'll want to go out with friends when you're having a difficult night? Will he listen to you when you are struggling with something or will be concerned with the videogame? Will he be upset when you cry or will take tissues to wipe your tears and give you a hug? Will he seek to understand that you are, probably, more sensitive than he is, more sensitive to the problems and reviews, or he will, regularly, keep stepping on your feelings?
A woman was struggling to breastfeed her baby, which is believed to be the best thing for the baby, but it was very difficult. Instead of providing support and encouragement, the husband started to complain about all the times that his wife was struggling to breastfeed.
Any guy who is indifferent to your feelings and self-esteem is selfish and should be left aside.
Be careful - a husband could slice or nourish your emotional health.
3. It will impact you physically. Will the man with whom you are, provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothing and food? At a certain moment in my marriage, I was worried that there would be no chance of employment. My husband assured me that it would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean highways - whatever is needed to sustain the family, regardless of their gifts and training. This is the kind of thing that you want. A man who does not provide for his home is the only thing worse than a cheater (I Tm. 5:8). You may have to help to alleviate the financial burden, but, unless your husband is invalid or in some other unusual circumstance, you shouldn't have to carry it alone.
The man with whom you are with take care of you or abuses you? If he gives you small slaps, kicks, etc, when you are dating, get out of this relationship. IT IS almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and the statistics show that this is especially true when you're pregnant. He is going to care for and protect or will he beat you? There are women in churches throughout America who thought that it was not a big thing receive small punches or slaps ( friendly type) of boyfriends, but that, subsequently, passed to conceal the aggressions of their husbands.
The man with whom you are will take care of you sexually? Will he honor the marriage bed in fidelity physical and mental or he will flirt with other, feed the addiction to pornography, or even leave you for another woman? You can't always predict these issues, but if the seed or practices are already present, be careful. Recently, I saw a newly-married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.
Will he be loving and gentle with you in bed? A co-worker who is not a believer once told to my sister, after her first sexual relationship, she had difficulties to walk for a few days because her boyfriend had been very rude. In other words, he was not selfless enough to care for the body of a woman who he said that he loved him. Be careful. Your body needs care and protection.
4. It will impact you mentally. Will the man whom you are thinking be a source of concern or he will help you to cope with your concerns? Will he encourage your intellectual development, or will neglect it? Will he appreciate your opinions and listen to what you're thinking, or will ignore your thoughts? Will he help you to cope with stress so that your mind does not become so overloaded, or will leave you struggling with problems alone? Will he take care of you and be helpful if you are experiencing mental stress, or he will ignore it? I know a woman who can deal with the pregnancy and childbirth very well physically, but the postpartum depression exerted an enormous impact on her mind. The husband has ignored this, and continue to have more children, until his wife ended up in an institution for mentally disabled. You may think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is of little importance. It is more important than you think. Consider it seriously.
5. It will impact your relationships. How is your relationship with your mother? your father? Do You love them? Does Your boyfriend love them? Imagine in ten years: you say to your husband that your mother is coming over the weekend. Will he be excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making hateful jokes with your friends? Of course, the husband should come first in your priority of relationships, both of you should leave father and mother and be one, but parents are still a big part of the table. Whatever the negative feelings he has towards your parents, probably will be extended after the marriage. Your marriage will strengthen or harm - even destroy - your relationship with your parents. The people you know and love , can be cut out of your life for a husband who hates them. The same happens with sisters and friends. Will they be welcome, at reasonable hours, in your home? The man who you are with will encourage your healthy relationships with other women, or he'll be jealous of friendships? will he help you to advise younger women and be grateful when older women advising you, or will he denigrate this practice?
Don't sacrifice many good relationships because of a boy who cannot appreciate the people who love you.
How will you boyfriend act after marriage vows? This is just a sample of the forms that a husband may bless or curse his wife. The effects are far-reaching, long-lasting, and can be wonderful or difficult. It is true, there is no perfect men. But there are great men. And it is better to be maiden over the life of that marry with someone who will make your life a burden. The single life can be great. The marriage with the wrong person and a nightmare.
I have witnessed a pastor who had called the police to protect the wife of a husband who was, in the parking lot of the Church, trying to stop her from being at church. This is ugly.
Don't be so desperate to get married and then have an unhappy marriage life. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you are not married, don't put yourself in this situation. Don't be with someone who wont follow God's leadership . Don't look for someone who is not looking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.
Rebecca VanDoodewaard. Website: www.thechristianpundit.org.
translation:Nivea Cólon
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